i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
