Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Randomize
