Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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