I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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