You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
