just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Randomize
