im gay
i know
yea but for you.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
