Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Randomize