p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
