The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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