We're facebook friends in real life
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Randomize
