I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize