im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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