i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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