Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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