your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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