if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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