I smell stomach acid.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
