: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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