THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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