So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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