Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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