Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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