i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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