Tell her she can't have a vagina
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Randomize
