his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
