Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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