I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
