You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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