I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
