How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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