remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
