i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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