im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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