I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
