never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Randomize
