I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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