I bet he comes in French.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
