you guys were way drunker than both of me
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
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with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
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Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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