you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
