can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I love you.
Bad choice
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