Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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