some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
