Life is so much better after having sex.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize