So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I want to be your penis for a week.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
