your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
