You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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