If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
