i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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