Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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