She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Randomize
