6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
