very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
