escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
