We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
