Texts From Last Night

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  (818): View more from California

  Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day

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  (818): Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day http://tfl.nu/fmn0
  Replies (20) Good night (785) Bad night (2560)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?

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  (817): What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"? http://tfl.nu/9rca
  Replies (29) Good night (9849) Bad night (1077)
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  (212): View more from New York

  Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.

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  (212): Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many. http://tfl.nu/dbug
  Replies (25) Good night (1496) Bad night (3606)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.

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  (309): Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me. http://tfl.nu/c51e
  Replies (7) Good night (1140) Bad night (2228)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.

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  (352): She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject. http://tfl.nu/69m3
  Replies (9) Good night (1510) Bad night (2337)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.

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  (706): Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain. http://tfl.nu/4t48
  Replies (11) Good night (2438) Bad night (954)
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  (530): View more from California

  It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.

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  (530): It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle. http://tfl.nu/j4o3
  Replies (9) Good night (2071) Bad night (557)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety

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  (+61): On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety http://tfl.nu/7rit
  Replies (9) Good night (2733) Bad night (613)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  Lmao sorry

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  (609): Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule (856): Lmao sorry http://tfl.nu/mr80
  Replies (2) Good night (2089) Bad night (737)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again

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  (720): I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again http://tfl.nu/uboi
  Replies (5) Good night (1276) Bad night (991)
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  (949): View more from California

  did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?

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  (949): did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass? http://tfl.nu/5kuh
  Replies (9) Good night (970) Bad night (535)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course

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  (612): It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course http://tfl.nu/673n
  Replies (2) Good night (1211) Bad night (466)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.

  (1-360): View more from Washington

  I'm puking in a turkey pan....

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  (360): You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal. (1-360): I'm puking in a turkey pan.... http://tfl.nu/y4jv
  Replies (6) Good night (1208) Bad night (490)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.

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  (281): A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before. http://tfl.nu/gsfk
  Replies (3) Good night (966) Bad night (439)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.

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  (253): Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead. http://tfl.nu/ww0m
  Replies (3) Good night (926) Bad night (371)

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