I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.