i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
