There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
