question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I think i got beer on your cat.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
