This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize